gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
