You're so nebulous sometimes
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize