I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
