I want to walk on stilts...naked
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
