He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
