I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
