the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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