Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
