If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize