That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There r osticjed everywhere
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
