I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize