Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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