i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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