And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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