well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
