just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
