I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
