Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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