whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
