i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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