I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So much rum. So many feels.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize