Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
