fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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