3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
