Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
