Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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