I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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