I smell stomach acid.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
