is your mom at the bar?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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