I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
