He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
