All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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