You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
