this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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