I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
