you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
