His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
