Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
