Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
