The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
