Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
