i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
