Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
