It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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