I could make wine with my vomit
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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