Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she was so not down for the gang bang
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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