We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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