Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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