It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
