Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize