Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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