dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize