I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
