Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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