oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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