let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
