it wasn't lemon gatorade
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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