i don't like sucking hair
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
