We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
