I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
