God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
