I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize