Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
