I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
