I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
