Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
