from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
