I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
