It's Friday. Sex?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
