Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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