sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
