shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
