i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
