IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
