I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
