I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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