Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
