Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
